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The Weasel Redemption

Average Rating:    (5 of 5)

No. of Reviews: 2

Apart form the misty, dark, and wet over-grown "Black Forest," there is some descent riding to enjoy. Knobby tires are very necessary, for terrain is quite slippery, and mercy for the one whos leg slips in a burrow of a ravinous river rat! River rats have incisors 3 inches long and can contract and transfer a bacterial filled bite, amputation of limb is very possible if bitten. There are a few good drop offs especially in the swamp pit, but do beware of the red mosquitos, and purple leach. Check yourself after every time you become wet, because these parasites have been known to kill, and kill they will! The covered bridge is one of the highlights if the trail. It is some what like the one in Tyler Park, yet there is an uncanny sence of danger when riding across the rotten and sometimes missing planks, for it hasn't been repaired since 1947 when it was built. Black Forest can be an extremely fun cource, but also very dangerous. Some things to search for are Jackalopes, the poison turtle toad, and the rare Mongolian Frizzel. My only true word of advise is DO NOT frighten, taunt, entice, or kill any weasel on the trail, for there is word of redemption in the woods, and these cunning little marsupials yield to nothing!
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Trail Directions
Follow the sewer pipes from Oxford Valley Mall parking lot for about 12.4 miles until you reach a rat hole with chicken bones and scrap in front of it. Snap one chicken thigh bone and proceed forward. Make a right at the first yellow pine tree marked liverlips and stay straight for 1 mile. Don't make eye contact with any coyotes or else death is imminent. When you finally make it to the large boulder covered in moss use the conche(horn) on the left to revive the fallen weasels, they will guide you the rest of the way. *Beware thou who blows the conche to the right will endure a painful slow death by weasel!*
Trail Length
33 miles
Trail Level
Advanced
Trail Type
Singletrack
City/County
Black Forest
   


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Reviews 1 - 2 (2 Reviews Total)

Review Date
May 1, 2002

Overall Rating
 5 of 5

Ridden Trail:
Every few months

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Reviewed by: Felipe Mazarache , from Queens

Summary:
Since this trail has been around long before this review was posted it was up to your fate that you blew the correct conche. I myself blew the left one and was maliciously attackd by a clan of Pronghorn Lillyfrickles. These things have the ability to tear the fleash from your underneath your toenails in miliseconds. The pain was excruciating, and lucky form me my but Harold was right behind with the sawed off shotgun loaded with slugs. BAM...BAM and those two boulbous horned and fanged mutants were down. It really amazing what chemicals can do to normal everyday squirrels an rabbits. The only thing you must carry by all means is a flat tire repair kit, or spare tube. With out this necessary application a rampid beaver can strike in seconds. I was lucky enough to spot a white bellied Jackalope(4 pointer). Jackalopes can be vicius creatures and I will attach a link for bikers to read up on before riding this trail. Beside the normal hazards of this trail the biking is great and for a high risk you have a ball! http://ww2.lafayette.edu/~hollidac/jackalope.html

Recommended Route:
I recommend catching the pipelines a little earlier than the mall in a more noticable area located in back of Ethan Allen by Tweeter. These are the same pipelines, and just so you know wolfgang didn't mention that the sewer waters are infested with rivr rats and a few redback water boas.

Other recommended trails in the same area:
Don Pablo's Mexican Trail is very nice, and I'm also a big fan of the Hill.



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Review Date
April 30, 2002

Overall Rating
 5 of 5

Ridden Trail:
Once a month

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Reviewed by: Scot "Slapstick" McCollough , from Antelope Parkway, MN

Summary:
This trail is described very nicely above. But! I would LIKE to add this...
Many a time I ride here, many a time i like. But! This last time, I LOVE! This is by far the GREATEST TRAIL around here! Now! What made me decide this peculiar idea was the AWESOME RIDE I had when i went with my fellow rat-looking friend named Charm. Short for Charmandeeeer. I must have went a good 45mph on my unicycle. (Folks, I know what you are saying, but this isnt any ordinary unicycle, this is the same one i beat Lance Armstrong in the 50k!) Now that that is clear we must proceed to the facts. Now! the chicken bone must be snapped for entrance, i cant stress enough that it must be the THIGH BONE, if not, severe sickness will conquer you and your second uncle, believe me, ive seen it done before! Now, lets keep the rabbit locked up and fully plump! Cheerio!

Recommended Route:
SEE ABOVE!
DO NOT BLOW CONCHE TO THE RIGHT!!!!!!!

Other recommended trails in the same area:
STONYBRIDGE COURT- its a MUST SEE



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Reviews 1 - 2 (2 Reviews Total)
 


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